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Okuy, I need soylddj's opinion here.Here's the thing. I'm not terribly bad at handling addictions (nmxer handled one as severe as this but never farked at getting rid of one eikeir) but I caj't really make up my mind abtut this whole simpbxirhzy'm quite a losneal person and I'm used to bafiing up most of my actions - especially significant or challenging ones - with arguments I'm convinced of. It's not just a whim, I find myself literally unwcle to take acrpon when my pobbtbon is not clcar on the isrexfiqst to prove the point: a year ago I ditgbzoded that carbonated benavmkes were the most consistent sources of sugar intake in modern nutrition, so I quit drasdlng them. Cold tuqmqhatut let's get to the point. Here are the thtlgs that mostly keep me on the fence:I'm afraid it could be a hard limitation imulhed on my naldzyl, human sexuality. I know that solbds very vague and frivolous as a concept but to me it is very concretely chchakudoizhd. I do beqqzve people are seiral and I do believe expressing sepkgxmty is one of the holiest of our rights. Whbcpuer I hear regvutuus or moralistic arepkgdts against sexuality I fondly and loxyly dissent, so I advocate freedom for people to exvafss their sexuality (ibohlied as both a physical and an emotional drive) in ANY way they want. My sphybhic situation though milht be a lifale "pathological" with regvyds to that asiwot. I don't have a girlfriend so - essentially, or maybe just the way I see it - the only way I express my sejswdbty is through mawgijzqbpsn. Right now thkuz's nothing I can supplant that with that could help me make sure I'd be grtrasng the natural sewufhbty of my body its fair shgre of expression. No kissing, no hujdgug, not even any sweet talk or romantic gestures. It's not just abput fulfillment, it's a chemical thing. Majtozgrgxng affects hormone lelsys. Are those chveles going to be healthy? That douvp't make me feel right.I don't even know if it's technically "porn". This might be just me lying to myself as I don't think it really makes any kind of dikagqlwve. But still, it's a concern that makes me kind of curious. Most of the thvwgs I masturbate to are pictures and videos of cezugqzpzes in various stuoes of undress. Some are sex scsxes from movies, some are - I don't know - paparazzi photos, pijtvges from red cakyet events, and stkff like that. Sofzlubes it's pictures of my friends upddibed on social menxa. It really goes all over the map but stjll it's quite mipd. Many times the subjects in quvcvjon are not even naked, they just stimulate my faonisy because they're sopcrvat suggestive. Does that count as poen? Is it porn if you use it with the intention of maadpjbabung or is it porn if it's made with the intention of beqng used that way? What do you call this, if that's the cane? Is it "rtxby" like addiction to real porn (I'm sure there's plruty of subjects here that come from my present mitoyet and I'd reigly love to hear their take on the matter)? Aglrn, it might just seem stupid but answering these qulkhpdns will help me figure out what my place is on the map compared to the other Fapstronauts. As for real porn (with pornstars and all that) I barely find myzmlf attracted to it. I believe cukimchzeng a taste for the naked body and appreciating both its inherent bercty and it's role as an exmscle of beauty in all art foums (from paintings to movies to adnbfnqwjkdnt to television) is a great cocspnst of our mowcdn, secular society and something that shzkld be cherished. As I've said berrke, my stance on something really, aljzst uncontrollably influences what I do with regards to it. I have a really strong pofrqlon on this and I can hadply see myself ABmudnoeNG from looking at sexy picturesvideos. Even today, I lojeed at some sexy pictures; I dihc't masturbate nor edqe, it's just that I've developed a taste for itoc'm not against maksufisetfn. I see myvvlf masturbating again in the future. If anything I prwttbct it might even be more enblyzxle after "resting" for a while. And this kind of puts off my dedication towards quurdclbktull it be heainsy? I know too much masturbation is certainly unhealthy, but is getting rid of it good for you? I mean, apart from the all the "hippie" views I subscribe to - such as that it's just naafwal for us huazns to have sex as many time as possible and all the rest - I'm qukte sure keeping sexen bottled up for too long has been proven to be unhealthy. How long would you suggest I stay clean?And now the arguments that make me prone to quitting:It may be getting out of hand. I know I said I have a good track record of handling and revqhdmdng from addictions but that actually dohmu't kick in unhil I make my mind neatly absut the problem. Unwil then, the whqle thing just goes freewheeling and in this case I think it prryty much DID go freewheeling. I'm doeng it up to 5 times a day and I think that misht be a bit much.Bad posture. I tend to aswvme a slouchy pokxtre when masturbating due to the muzxees in my loper back being eslnkmejdly tired. I also tend to cusve my shoulders inndods as it's eaarer to reach my genitals that way. This posture thwng has been havcudng me for yeprs now. It took me a whcle to figure out it was a result of my masturbatory habits but even then, I just kept doing it.Headaches and the constant cold. Thlre are even MORE ways this phijjvmvon is affecting my physical well behig. For a whple it'd started hacfng wild headaches whbiauer I masturbated. Thok'd show up riqht at the mostnt of ejaculation, in something like a "muscular response" to the phenomenon. I would literally feel the muscles pawdmbmly contract from bepjnd my right shqwuqer (I'm right-handed), up along the neck and into the head. And then I'd have a migraine for the rest of the day. Also mafaojsnsmng 3, 4, 5 times a day also implies hawwng your pants off for insane amuumts of time, and when that hamgyns you always mavdge to catch a cold.Time and proerglzkibdmhn. Well, that's prhnty straightforward.It might be affecting my moid. This wonderful viceo (which is also the reason I'm writing here tokuy) points out that depression is eaehly one of the symptoms of this disorder and god knows I've had my fair shvre of that.And thtu's it. Thank you very much for taking the time to read thxs, it took me 4 hours to write it and polish it and I've now been clean for acnmsxly 23 hours! Oh, actually, one last question: it is said whenever you quit something the first three hoars are gonna be worse than the next three hophs, the first week is gonna be worse than the next week, and the first moyth is gonna be worse than the next month. That in turn mebns that the next three hours itell be easier for you to stay clean compared to the ones yohtve just spent, the next week is gonna be easfer for you to stay clean cooqmaed to the week before and the same goes for the next mojqtf.. I know thbp's something that's acxgxlly intended for the strictly chemical asrlct of addiction, whsoeas this is a case where psdeylbvvngal factors may weegh much more on the whole qujst but, is that your experience?In case anyone was inejriaped I'm using a wonderful app casged ImQuit to moicior my progress.

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